Me Be VeG

Archive for November, 2009

You know who you are. Please get help.

(taken from wiki)

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the diagnostic classification system used in the United States, as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.”^[1]

The narcissist is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, and prestige.^[2] Narcissistic personality disorder is closely linked to self-centeredness. It is also colloquially referred to as the god complex.

[...]

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

[...] /end

I hate it. I hate to compromise. I hate giving up on something I believe in and allow something I think it is wrong. I’m not talking about small things, those things I don’t look at as compromise, or at least not the same way. It’s easy for me to do something I don’t like if it makes someone else happy. What isn’t easy is to do something for one person that I KNOW will hurt another person, just to make person one happy. This is the situation I’m in right now.

These days, Thanksgiving isn’t about the first meal between the Native Americans and the pilgrims, sharing corn and laughs. I think we can all agree this is probably not how it went down. It also doesn’t really seem to be about giving thanks for the good things in our lives, although people do tend to throw that in at the end. No, this is about eating a dead bird. And this is something I do NOT support. At all. And I will not. I choose not to, and no matter what scenerio is brought in front of me, I can’t justify this act of betrayal.

And the “what” this thanksgiving dinner with my family.

I love my family more than anything in the world. They are good people. This year was going to be thanksgiving at my house, and I was ok with this. I can make amazing things like vegan pepperoni pizza and veggie burgers, desserts like brownies and cookies. Ok, so I’m not a traditionalist. But my brother told me yesterday he would not attend without the dead bird. So I said that’s fine, don’t attend.

And then I felt the guilt. Who am I to say he can’t eat his dead bird if he wants to. He doesn’t love animals, the environment or have a strong passion for much of anything. I love him so very much, but I am aware of the person that he is. This isn’t a judgement, or at least I don’t mean it to be. But it makes me sad to think about. He doesn’t love things, and this makes me sad. So I agreed to allow the dead bird in my house, to com… comp… compromise.

And I’ve felt sick ever since.

This “compromise” isn’t right. And animals shouldn’t live a life of pain and neglect and torture, and then be so gruesomely killed, so he can have an UNnecessary “tasty” meal. And I will not support it. So I made a counter offer to have dinner at my parents or out at a restaurant. I can suffer through watching him (or rather, all of them) eat the dead bird and dairy excretions (puss and blood and all), but I WILL NOT welcome this into my home. I spent the weekend hearing all about the horrible stalking and killing of innocent deer so these people could get their thrills. These people I love doing things I think is so very, very wrong. I was also witness to a bowl of dirty knives with pieces of said deer still on them and nearly vomited. I actually had to turn and hold my mouth while I dry-heaved. I don’t think I’ll be putting myself through this next year. I love my family, but it was too much.

I CAN compromise, but I don’t consider sacrificing my moral and ethical beliefs a “compromise”. Especially when it is completely and totally unnecessary. He doesn’t need the dead bird, and the lovely bird doesn’t need to die. It is a choice, the wrong choice, and I will not support it. I will not welcome it into my home.

And this is the first time, throughout this whole thing, that I no longer feel sick about my decision.

I love my Doc. He is sweetest 80lb dog who thinks he’s a lap dog. He’s also a VERY healthy chewer. Which basically translates to mean he needs to chew. Whether this is an intended toy of his or the corner of my bookshelf, he needs to chew on something. And not ONLY does he need to chew, but he has the need to chew with the goal of completely destroying whatever it is he is chewing. So the normal dog toys do not work, or they do not last long enough to justify the cost or mess they create.

The few I have found that Doc has not managed to destroy in under 10 mins is the Nylabone. I get the largest ones I can find, and Doc will naw on these for a long time. When he does finally widdle them down to a size that isn’t safe, I toss and get another.

I was at Fleet Farm last week, and found they have inexpensive bones, so I bought three. I presented all three to my Doc, thinking that he’d run off with one and I’d save the others for another time. Well, he tried to put all three huge bones in his huge alligator mouth. Needless to say it was sooo cute, I decided to let him have all three. (Yeah, I’m easy like that.)

I am on the VeganEssentials.com mailing list, and thank dog I am because last week they had a sale for Daiya vegan cheese. Now, I was skeptical about this cheese since no other vegan attempt at the regular dairy cheese has ever been the same. For the most part, that’s fine by me because I don’t need cheese. I used to think I couldn’t live without it, why I couldn’t go vegan, which was, of course, complete bullshit. There is no food I can’t live without, and there is DEFINITELY no animals excretion that I should consume. Ever.

The only exception I’ve found is pizza. I was never a big into pizza before going vegan. Don’t get me wrong, I liked pizza, but it wasn’t my go-to food. But after going vegan, cheese and pepperoni pizza is what I missed. It was bizarre how I would get a craving for this thing I was never really that into before. And it wasn’t until just a few months ago that I really made an attempt to make my own pizza. It was when I discovered Daiya cheese. It melts, it stretches, it fills that void I’ve had for cheese pizza. I bought a little of each to try, and it was amazing.

Last week, I bought some more. Hey, it was on sale and it freezes really well, so I ordered it on a whim. Since the company that sells it is in Wisco, I got it the next day. Of course I had to make pizza that night. A-mazing!

(and no animals were harmed in the making of this pizza, not even me!)

Last weekend, Doc and I went for an extra long walk around the neighborhood. Naturally, I didn’t eat anything before the walk because I never think to do that. We get home and I wonder why I’m dizzy. I’d been reading Vegan with a Vengeance (again) because it was my first vegan cookbook I ever got. I got it before I even went officially vegan 2 years ago. Anyways, I found the recipe for basic scones and added chocolate chips because, well, why not really? I also brushed them with soy milk and sprinkled a little sugar on top to give a little extra…zing. I ate two, and froze the rest for breakfasts for the week. Super easy to just pop one in my bag in the morning and eat at work. I also shared with Ashley, my partner in crime at work. She seemed to love them. But she’s easy to please with food! haha

A week ago today, Doc and I were laying on the bed watching TV. I don’t know if he heard a noise or I moved, but he whipped his head around and slammed it into my eye socket. I hear something go crack. I thought he’d broken my eye socket bone area. A half inch to the left and he would have broken my nose. I went to the bathroom to see the damage, and there was a trail of blood down my face. The eye socket bone had broken through the skin. It surprisingly didn’t hurt that much (after the initial slam), no headache, and it only hurt when I touched it. After a week, it’s nearly all healed. It isn’t my first injury, and it won’t be my last. (it’s the second time Doc’s given me a black eye. He’s all limbs and no coordination!)

A few days later, I had to go to the store for groceries and dog treats (yes, he injured me and I got him toys). I didn’t remember until afterwards that I had this gash on my face. I can’t imagine what people were thinking, but really, would I say anything to someone with a black eye?

I was trying a new recipe for pizza dough, and it made a huge, pliable batch. I could have saved the extra and made another pizza later, but I was inspired by a commercial for Hot Pockets. I used to love Hot Pockets, especially the pepperoni ones that would ooze grease and oil when you bit into them. EWWW (well, this is what I think about that now, at least). Needless to say, I don’t miss the oozy grease or the ground animal bits, but I do miss the surprise. Oh, it looks like just a roll of bread, but SURPRISE, you’re meal’s inside! Yeah, I know I’m weird. I also like cookies like that, but that’s a whole other post.

The the stuffed part of this is just a pizza crust on the bottom, and another crust on the top. A lot like a huge calzone. Ok, exactly like that. What was so great about it that one piece was more than enough for a meal, so this last for several days/meals that I didn’t have to cook for. Don’t get me wrong, I love to make things. But when I get home from work, walk Doc, and then just want to put my feet up, to know there is a meal already ready for me, I hum with happiness. Just a few short seconds in the micro and voila! Delicious vegan stuffed pizza burning the inside of my mouth! Yes, I need to work on my patience.

Loyalty. One of the most important traits to me. To have the back of people you care about speaks more to a person’s character than almost anything else. Now I’m not saying to ignore their mistakes or believe everything they say without question. No no no. When the chips are down and you turn your back on me, well, that speaks volumes. I will do everything I can to give you the benefit of the doubt, but if you can’t give anything in return, then there is a problem. (And, the problem isn’t mine.)

But on to better things. And by “better”, I mean the edible kind that doesn’t arrive in an unmarked package without a return address. haha! 4 more days until New Moon and 5 more days until V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!

That is all.

First off, I really have no idea where I’m going with this blog. Is there any point? Probably not. Maybe at some point I’ll get some direction… maybe not.

So this weekend was one for the record books as far as time I spent in the kitchen. I guess I was inspired, or motivated, or hungry. Whatever the reason, I made a bunch of stuff that I’ll share with you now.

First was the bread. I found a cheap-o bread machine last week, and plus has a coupon for 20% off, so I thought, hell, why not? I like the idea of making my own bread. Have you looked at an ingredient list on a normal loaf of store-bought bread? It reads like a chemical composition of unpronounceable ingredients. I actually have one of these loaves that’s been in my fridge for over 9 months and NOT MOLDY. Yes, it still tastes fine, after 9 months. What the hell is in it that it doesn’t go bad after so many months? Whatever it is, it can’t be good for me.

So anyways, back to the bread machine. It’s a cheapy, so I don’t have super high hopes. Worst case, I hate it and take it back. Best case, I have yummy bread with a short ingredient list. So then to choose what kind of bread to make. I could have gone with the standard white bread, but truth is I don’t really like it. I prefer whole wheat, the nuttier and grainier, the better. The settings I went with were the normal ones (not the express), so it took, like, 3 hours or something to make. But it smelled so good and tasted even better!

This is what it looked like:

(I know, my camera is shitty and since I do most of my cooking at night, the photos are even worse!)

And this is what I made with it: a grilled cheese panini!!!!

Add a little bbq sauce for dipping and I am a happy chica!

Sweety humini, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. Maybe I’ll have that again for dinner to night. Hmmm….

Ok, so that was only the beginning. I also (finally) decided to actually make the carrot cake I’ve been thinking about for a month or more. You see, for me it’s all about motivation. If I don’t HAVE to do something, and I don’t really want to do it, I usually will not do it. It’s a trait I hate about myself, but it’s pretty low on the list so, well, whatever… Back to the carrot cake. What a fucking pain in the ass! It wasn’t complicated or anything, but since I’ve never before made carrot cake, I didn’t realize what a mess it would make. But the final product turned out really good (maybe a little undercooked, but very moist and wonderful). Add a little cream cheese frosting and VOILA! Heaven in my mouth. And I’ll be able to have this heavenly treat for a long time because the cake was HUGE (ok, so I doubled it. But only because I didn’t want to have half things in my fridge!).

Slice of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting:

And the leftovers:

And MORE leftovers:

Oh, and because OBVIOUSLY I wasn’t busy enough, I decided to attempt the pepperoni recipe from vegandad.blogspot.com. Ever since I went vegan almost 2 years ago, I’ve missed pizza. More specifically, pepperoni pizza. Yeah, I know it’s terrible for me and all that, but sweet mother of all that is yummy, it’s delicious.

I didn’t even know it was possible to make vegan pepperoni until a few months ago (or weeks, I can’t keep track of time). Well, it is possible. And, very easy! and it totally smells like pepperoni and tastes amazing! I’d like to say it tastes just like ordinary, dead-animal-carcass pepperoni… but honestly, I can’t remember. I’m pretty sure it does.

So in honor of the pepperoni, I decided to make pizza today. Ok, so it isn’t like I need a reason to make pizza.

Pizza with cheezy sauce and vegan pepperoni (before going into the oven):

And after:

And finally, I needed to make something for my lunches for the week at work. Since last week’s peanut sauce was so amazing, I decided to make it again with wide wheat noodles, cauliflower, tofu and green beans. Yes, I think we have another winner!

Peanut sauce on wide wheat noodles with tofu and veggies:

Bloody hell, my camera sucks unless it has a ton of light. Suckity suck sucks! I need to get a lamp or something when I take photos, and maybe a tripod. I think I actually have one in the garage. I’ll have to take a look.

So now I just need to choose what to have for dinner. My choices are: left over pepperoni pizza, grilled cheese,  or peanut tofu noodles. OR carrot cake.

Hmmmm these are the BEST kinds of decisions!

Bonus pic: Doc choosing the prime bed location: